Please give me any advice or thoughts about this situation my husband and I are stuck in.  My father in law has been with his gf for about 8 years and nobody in the family likes her.  She has been hateful to me, my husband and everyone in the family behind the FIL's back, but puts on a fake lovey dovey show to everyone when my FIL is around.  The entire family agrees she is crazy and trying to strategically destroy the family dynamic so her name is the only one on the will. 


Anyways,  our son is 10 months and she has adopted the name "Grandma" without asking my husband or me.  We cannot stand it and have tried to talk to the FIL about it, but he accuses us of "starting drama".  We do not like this lady and do not want our son to refer to her as a grandma.  There is no biological tie to her, and if (God forbid) anything were to happen to my FIL I know that "Grandma" would disappear and my son would wonder what happened to his Grandma. 

My husband sent the GF an email which I posted below and now his dad has cut contact with my husband and is blaming him for ruining the family.  What do you think we should do now?  


P.S. If you are wondering why we sent her an email, it is because we have tried to talk to them in person about othersensitive issues (i.e. baptisms) and they both immediately start yelling over us and won't listen to a word we say.  The only way for us to get a solid message across without being ignored is if they are forced to read it.  

Hi (GF),
Valerie and I really appreciate all the love you have for Grant, and we are so thankful for all the people in his life that truly care for him. We have decided that we don't want to confuse Grant having three grandmothers, and only want to refer to his biological grandmothers as his grandmothers. We do hope he continues to have a close relationship with you even though you wont be his grandmother. Again thank you for everything you do for him, and we are so glad to have you apart of his life.