Hi There,

I'm a first time Mom-to-Be and over 35.  I'm at 14 weeks today, and just entering my 2nd trimester.  I am already starting to form my baby bump and happily shopping for maternity clothes.  I recently had two "friends" of mine make what I think are rude comments towards me that really hurt my feelings.  When I mentioned to both of them that I was already starting to show, they responded with:  "I can't believe you're showing already!  I just hope you don't gain too much weight or get too big!  I didn't start showing until my 5th month!"  What kills me the most is BOTH of these ladies are already Moms!  My only response to both of them was:  "Every woman and pregnancy is different".  But it still stung and of course makes me even more self-conscious.  *sigh*  Well, when I went for my 12^th week doc visit I was stunned she told me I didn’t gain one ounce of weight!  I couldn’t believe it as much as my belly is growing!  But was happy, because I’m really trying hard to manage my weight since I am already big to begin with.

In any case, I'd love advice on how to handle situations like this.  Furthermore, I'm extremely interested in making friends on here and interested in connecting with locals.  I live in the Bay Area, CA.

Thanks so much and I very much look forward to any responses.

~Kristie      

Thanks so much for replying, Tammy and your kind words!  It's never easy dealing with "frenemies" and like you, I tend to put up with it at times.

I currently live in Los Gatos, so Santa Cruz isn't too far!  Coincidentally, I have family in Henderson, Nevada which I try to visit a few times a year.

It's also nice to know other first time Moms out there who were "late bloomers" (I'm 37) and am petrified to find that with that comes the routinely genetic testings.  I just completed my NT ultrasound recently and that got both my husband and I all tangled in our thoughts.  Thankfully, we were pleased with the results, but now I'm toying with the thought on should I do the amnio or not?

I just got back from visiting other family in Arizona and my Mother-in-Law took me maternity clothes shopping.  We aren't very close, so I was nervous at first, but it ended up bonding us nicely and the clothes we picked out together are really nice - especially for my job - I'm the Manager of Administrative Services at RIM.  I was expecting her to take me to places like Old Navy or Target (which I have NO problem with at all and only assumed these places since they tend to be more economical), but to her choice she took me to Macy's and Motherhood.  Still the pickins out there are a bit slim!  Although it's exciting, I still hold a bit of a comlex about maternity clothes because I don't want to be wearing them forever.

I'm feeling very overwhelmed lately, mostly about finances.  Here it is, everything I've ever wanted (I'm also a newlywed - we just celebrated our 1 yr. anniversary!) and yet when I go into a Babies R Us store I start to cry just thinking about all the "stuff" we have to get/buy.  Important things like...my husband drives a 2 seater truck, and now I'm thinking:  "Oh NO!  Do we need to get a new vehicle, which we really can't afford, so he can put a car seat in there?"  (He'll be picking the baby up from daycare in the afternoon, while I drop the baby off in the mornings).  All these things coming to mind is so tough.  When I bring them all up to my hubby it starts to stress him out as well.  I don't want to keep being stressed about this stuff - even if it is important - it's taking away from me enjoying my pregnancy because I'm so consumed in these thoughts.  :-(

Anyhow, I'm so sorry to ramble on...I've basically kept all this to myself for 14 weeks and it's so nice to release some of it on here.  So thank you!

~Kristie

 

Nov 7, 2012 -- 3:47PM, Kristie wrote:

Hi There,

I'm a first time Mom-to-Be and over 35.  I'm at 14 weeks today, and just entering my 2nd trimester.  I am already starting to form my baby bump and happily shopping for maternity clothes.  I recently had two "friends" of mine make what I think are rude comments towards me that really hurt my feelings.  When I mentioned to both of them that I was already starting to show, they responded with:  "I can't believe you're showing already!  I just hope you don't gain too much weight or get too big!  I didn't start showing until my 5th month!"  What kills me the most is BOTH of these ladies are already Moms!  My only response to both of them was:  "Every woman and pregnancy is different".  But it still stung and of course makes me even more self-conscious.  *sigh*  Well, when I went for my 12^th week doc visit I was stunned she told me I didn’t gain one ounce of weight!  I couldn’t believe it as much as my belly is growing!  But was happy, because I’m really trying hard to manage my weight since I am already big to begin with.

In any case, I'd love advice on how to handle situations like this.  Furthermore, I'm extremely interested in making friends on here and interested in connecting with locals.  I live in the Bay Area, CA.

Thanks so much and I very much look forward to any responses.

~Kristie      

Hi! I understand about the whole weight thing. I have been big my whole life, and when I found out I was pregnant, I thought of the worst scenarios possible because of my weight. I have been very conscious of what has been going int my mouth, and although I love pasta, the baby doesn't seem to...the thought of it makes me nauseous, so thankfully, thats one complex carb I can't eat. :) However, your friends should not make comments like that. Friends should be supportive during pregnancy, and be there for you whenever you have questions...but we are all here! Although not sure what I can answer for you, since this is my first!