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3 years ago ::
Jul 19, 2010 - 1:52PM
#1
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I recently found out that I am pregnant. My boyfriend and I were doing really well for a change UNTIL I found out. We have been on and off again for over 3 years. April-June we were doing the best we have in all 3 years. I missed my depo shot and had an appointment to get it again in July. He knew there was a slight risk I may end up pregnant but he wasn't too concerned. I have been on the shot for 12 years so my chances were pretty slim. Low and behold SURPRISE I ended up conceiving late May. I am due in February of next year. He is furious that I will not have an abortion. He thinks a baby right now is the most selfish thing I could do to HIM. Regardless that I am very excited, he no longer wants anything to do with me or the baby. I am very sad and frustrated. I don't know how we can go from being very happy together to how he says that he absolutely hates me. Yes, he is quite immature, but I do love him and I wish things will end up differently. What I am trying to decide is when/how do I tell his family? They have a right to know that I am pregnant and decide for themselves whether or not they want to be a part of our baby's life regardless if their son does not. Laura
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3 years ago ::
Jul 19, 2010 - 2:28PM
#2
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I have the exact same story going on. However, they do come around eventually. My bf and I broke up and were down each others throat. After I ceased contact and told him I would only contact him with regards to the email and through email only....he came around. Now we are being somewhat of friends and just talking and I guess ina sense starting over from scratch. I am now 2 months and some days, but i told everyone on my side of the family at 6-7 weeks. I have not told his family, but am waiting till I get the ultrasound and I will email it to all them. I have all their info from his Facebook...gotta love Facebook. To have it his way he wont tell his family till the baby comes out, but he underestimates me, so I will take it into my own hands. I told my family creatively with blank cards and the front had a black and white photo with the sating "life always brings new beauties," and sent it to all my friends and family and then began voicing it on Facebook that same week. I say go for it and tell his family. There are many ways you can do it creatively by sending a card that is blank inside like i did with a diferent saying to each person or you can send them onsies that say grandma's favorite or what have you or even send fortune cookies that have the fortune "baby on board" with your estimated due date. I do feel fro you as I was in your shoes and all you have to do is not let it bother you. Get rid of the stress and if he doesn't want to be bothered then fine, get him for support later on when the baby is born and have him turn over his parental rights, but something tells me that as you began to look more an dmor epregnant and his family gets excited he will too, especially once he sees the beautiful creation you two made. If you want to talk, send me a message or something. Good Luck!! and Go Get'em!!!!
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3 years ago ::
Jul 19, 2010 - 3:30PM
#3
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I'm a big believer in waiting until about 12 weeks to tell anyone. There is still so much that can happen in the first 12 weeks and after that, your risk of miscarriage goes down. However, you know them better, so it depends on how you feel. Your boyfriend may or may not come around. If things don't turn out with him and you want nothing to do with him, then you can have him turn over his parental rights, but then he doesn't have to pay child support. I hope things turn out for you whichever way they go. Good luck.
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3 years ago ::
Jul 20, 2010 - 12:38PM
#4
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In ohio, a person is unable to sign off on parental rights unless the child is going to be adopted. I have two other children with my ex-husband who I would LOVE to have him comletely sign off but unfortunately it is not possible here. Thank you for your input and opinions, I really appreciate it! Everyone on my family's side knows and I live in a small town so it is only a matter of time before his family finds out. I just think it should come from me instead of through the grapevine..
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3 years ago ::
Jul 20, 2010 - 12:38PM
#5
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In ohio, a person is unable to sign off on parental rights unless the child is going to be adopted. I have two other children with my ex-husband who I would LOVE to have him comletely sign off but unfortunately it is not possible here. Thank you for your input and opinions, I really appreciate it! Everyone on my family's side knows and I live in a small town so it is only a matter of time before his family finds out. I just think it should come from me instead of through the grapevine..
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3 years ago ::
Jul 20, 2010 - 12:38PM
#6
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In ohio, a person is unable to sign off on parental rights unless the child is going to be adopted. I have two other children with my ex-husband who I would LOVE to have him comletely sign off but unfortunately it is not possible here. Thank you for your input and opinions, I really appreciate it! Everyone on my family's side knows and I live in a small town so it is only a matter of time before his family finds out. I just think it should come from me instead of through the grapevine..
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