Hi There,

I actually have some personal experience in this area :) We went to a therapist because we had two issues. Our son, now 7 had been throwing huge tantrums and having huge meltdowns and our daughter now 9 had been pulling her own hair out one by one including her eye lashes and eye brows. It used to be very hard for me to talk about but now I believe that it is important to talk about because as a parent I had no idea that I was half the problem.

I thought the same as you the first few visits. I wanted some sort of answer and I was wondering what the heck going to therapy would ever change. I even thought about stopping at one point.

The first thing I want to share is that there is no reason you can't ask the therapist exactly what is on your mind:) I finally did and then it all started to feel right. The therapist will need to spend some time with your son, as well as you to get to know you both and get a feel for what troubles you are having and why they are happening. Not only will your son get instructions on how to better handle himself, you will get instructions on how to better handle yourself and how to resct when your some is not behaiving as you wish.

I hated therapy when we first started going. It was hard to be an open book and it was hard for me...humbling, to realize that part of the problem was me.

We ended up in therapy for a little over a year. a good 6-8 months of that year was hard wrok for the whole family. My daughter was pulling her hair due to extreme seperation anxiety and stress due to school expectations. She wastaught how to deal with her feelings in a different way than pulling her hair. My son way taught different ways to deal with his emotions and my husband and I were taught different ways to react to moth children when there was unwanted behavior.

One of the biggest things I learned was to reward them/praise them for using their skills to try and behave in a resonable manner instead of rewarding only if they did as expected. What an improvement when I started to reward/praise for effort.

I could go on and on but I don't want to bore you:) Hang in there, ask the therapist questions and share your concerns so you know you are on the same page. You can flat out ask what results to expect.

By the way, trust your gut when it comes to a therapist. We tried two before finding the third one that was a great fit. She was quiet, mellow and gave us results. It's been a year since we have been in her office and I think I will go drop her a card to let her know that we are still happy with the knowledge she shared with us. She helped our family more than I could have imagined:)

Hope this helps. I'm always around her if you want to chat.

Tammy